it's been 5 months since i've started using vox and it's sad to say this but...i'm moving back to my lj.
i thought you were my friend.
i thought you were different.
i thought that you didn't care about all those things.
i guess i was wrong.
you hurt me on so many levels.
it sucks but at least i know that i'm not wasting time
with someone as fake as you.
you are gone from my life.
you do not exist to me.
you said that you would always be my friend.
that you loved me.
that no matter what, you got my back.
ditto to me i guess.
good riddance i say.
i mean, besides the fact that i'm a bit mental at times.
and call myself quack.
seriously. i have no idea why is this whole matter bothering me so much.
i mean, they're not really that important to me.
the fact that they are friends of someone i care for, makes me so mad.
how can they truly call themselves friends.
maybe they don't.
and invite won't hurt you know.
or even just a phonecall?
or even a text?
GAWD.
and it's not like i'm gonna go all psycho on them and cast evil spells and make them turn into toads.
i just dunno why i'm all upset about it though.
i just dun understand.
is it cos they don't like him?
is it cos they aren't as close as he thought they were?
is it cos they aren't really friends?
i'm done thinking.
toodles.
i really wonder...
i wah...wah...wah...wah...wonder!!!!
friendship. what does friendship mean to you?
being someone that has the same style as you?
being someone that makes you look cool?
being someone who is so scared to be real that they just be as fake as they can be?
i really don't understand how some people can call themselves friends...
in front of you, they act all chummy and so connected...but behind your back, they talk shit about that you and let others be their judge.
i think...if you've know that person for all your life, don't be such a wanker and let people whom you've only known a few years tell YOU that your friend sucks... if you listen to that wanker, than you're not a real friend.
friends don't judge.
friends don't treat friends like dirt.
friends don't let other people talk shit about their friends.
how can you people call yourselves friends??
hmmm...maybe it IS true. maybe i'm not that liked by them. maybe, they find me intimidating. i dunno. but if it IS true, you guys never took the effort to get to noe me well enough. oh, and God forbid that you try to keep the friendship even if you hate me.
sheesh.
grow up little children.
it's 2009.
not 1989.
toodles!
i loike! :)
i feel like puking cos i ate too much.
i'm addicted to jesse mcCartney's "how do you sleep".
lol.
i don't believe i just said that.
oh dear me what's wrong with me.
to judge bob - thanks for your words of wisdom
to jim baxter - thanks to you too
i'm feeling random.
i had indian food for lunch.
l had laksa for dinner.
i had cheese fries for...fun?
i hate myself already.
i HAVE to go to the gym tomorrow.
i HAVE to!
i am liking this new colour.
i always get brown or black or red or pink.
now. it's GREEN!
fuyoh!
mani+pedi=pampered me
i love being pampered.
my fiance should learn to pamper me more.
i need more pampering!
and no, i do not mean mamy poko!
oh well.
toodles!!
xoxo
dear God,
Please help me. i do not want to feel this way all over again. it seems that no matter what i do in life, it is never enough. even when i show that i really am trying, no one ever seems to believe in me.
will i always be the failure? will everyone keep looking down on me no matter what i do?
i'm tired of always trying to show people that i am good enough.
dear God,
please take away all this pain inside me. please make the people around me understand what i'm really going through. please help me be stronger.
i don't want to keep crying. it doesn't make the pain go away. it just makes it worse.
dear God,
i love you. i love my family. i love him. i want things to be good. i want life to be pleasant. please help us all. please help me understand what my purpose in life is. i can't keep pretending that i'm happy. i can't keep pretending that daddy loves me the most. i can't keep pretending that everything is ok.
it's not.
dear God,
in this time of need. in this time of pain. in this time of confusion.
i need your guidance the most. help me please. i can't take this pain again.
please make this disease go away.
please help others see that life isn't as bad as it seems. please let them treasure everything they have. please let them understand that not everyone is perfect, but everyone is trying to make things right.
dear God,
i need peace of mind. i need to know that i'm here for a purpose. i need to know that even when the whole world is crashing around me, i still have someone to turn to. i need to know that not everyone has their back against me and thinks i'm useless. again.
dear God,
please.
please.
please.
i'm begging you.
please help me.
i'm supposed to be at the gym tonight.
i'm supposed to be at the gym now.
but i've decided not to go and start fresh next week at the beginning of the month. so what am i gonna do tonite? i'm gonna get me some new shoes! :)
it's been a while since i went shoe shopping and i really needa get some flats! maybe black and brown? and maybe one more pair of covered shoes?
now that sounds like a brilliant idea!
afterwhich, OC has decided that we have dinner at Waraku tonite. looked thru their online menu... doesn't seem too appealing though...but i guess i'll be really hungry later and manage to find something to eat. haha.
i've been really bored at work this week. well, the week only started on wednesday....and i finished MOST of my work. i'm just left with some clearing of paperwork and doing some other minor adjustments. i even had time to rearrange my desk. again! haha. looks good now.
oh goody!! another hour before we can go and buy my shoes!!! :)
toodles!!
xoxo
on ..:: whatever you like ::..